For the last few months, I had been experiencing major guilt and remorse as I replayed the final night of Robin’s life. That evening, I was running around taking care of Robin, the pugs and cleaning Isabelle’s room before she returned from camp. I tucked Robin into bed early and joined him later but chose to sleep in the guest room as he was tossing and turning that night. Needless to say, I have been angry at myself that I was not more present and questioned if I did enough for him. I was also concerned that Robin may have felt neglected that night. These thoughts constantly swirled in my head and was kind of making me depressed and stuck in the past.
Robin and I shared many of the same opinions around death and believed that when people died their energy and spirit continued with us. Through the years, we had dabbled with psychic mediums, getting readings and attending seminars together. Based on our history, I wanted to connect with Robin and I figured if it was real, he would come and see me.
I ended up getting a referral from a friend who recently visited a local psychic and had good results.. I called Kelly (the psychic) and she suggested we meet on Saturday, October 13th. Kelly was much different than I expected. Let’s just say that she suggested that we meet at Tim Hortons and she dropped on more than one occasion her disdain for Obamacare and other Democratic views while we were together. I found this to be ironic that she was the chosen medium to connect us – ha ha. With that being said, she was very nice and shared with me all the gossip about the coffee shop regulars. During our session, we even had to move tables as someone was eavesdropping on our conversation and distracting us. This was not exactly how I envisioned the first time speaking with my dead husband, but it was truly comical.
Anyways moving on with the story, Kelly began listening to Robin and answering questions I had been obsessing about for the last two months. Kelly shared that Robin felt off for the last 6 months of his life and stopped going to the doctor. He had suspected something was wrong and did not want me to intervene and try to save his life . He basically orchestrated for me to sleep in the guest room in order for me to not be present when he passed. He died quickly and without any pain. He shared that he is now content and with family, friends and exploring new interests. He wants Isabelle and me to move forward and live life to it’s fullest. He does not want us to get stuck in the past and he will be around if we need him. He shared that he will stay connected with me by moving things in the house and through smell (which is true already). Kelly then mentioned he was telling her that October was important and she asked me if that made sense? Of course it was significant, today is our 22nd ANNIVERSARY.
Now you may or may not believe this is true and there was some stuff she talked about that did not make sense to me. However, it is just hard to dispute the level of detail she shared with me. I walked away feeling totally liberated. He had freed me from my guilt and eased my mind that he was at peace, had been satisfied with his life, our marriage and left with no regrets. All and all, this could have been a really sad day. Instead it was the first time since his death where I felt calm and optimistic knowing that he was with us and we had a bright future.