Empty Nester – Temporarily Postponed

Well another day in this crazy year called 2020. As many of you may know, MSU postponed freshman moving into the dorms and all the classes are online. This is not a decision that I disagree with as campuses around the country are experiencing surges in the virus. Nothing sounds like a bigger bummer than being in isolation in a small dorm room with no air-condition.🤒 Obviously, it was a major disappointment for Isabelle and her fellow schoolmates. This was the one announcement I had dreaded being that she has been such a good sport about missing the last quarter of her senior year, prom, summer frolicking with friends etc… but feared this would take her over the edge. 🤬Luckily, she has managed it fairly well. and I would say 85% of the time she was fine and 15% truly upset and becoming numb to bad news.☔️ This is hard as a parent to watch and still have the answers or encouraging words to make things better. I have stopped already and just keep saying – we have been through worse – it will work out. I want to move the sun, moon, and stars for her; 🌞🌚⭐️I want her to have an amazing germy freshman year as we all enjoyed when we were her age. 🍷💃🏻💋🎸And of course, this story will unfold over the next few months

However, I also want to switch topics to another person affected – that would be ME and all the unrecognized parents of young adults who just continue to take it on the chin for our kids.🙅🏻‍♀️I love my daughter with all my heart, and she has been my greatest joy and I thank g-d every day for having her in my life. She reminds me of Robin, and I am so proud of her yada yada yada … but I WAS READY FOR HER TO GO TO COLLEGE.🖐🏻I had big dreams and visions of what the next chapter of my life would look like which mainly involved – interior decoration and cleanliness in my home.🤸🏼‍♂️🎬Here was my list on how I was going to approach her departure and celebrate my new empty nest status.🎉

My List

1. Make sure she was moved in well and her dorm room was cute, well stocked with all the things she would need such as cleaning supplies, storage, hand vacuum, nice bedding etc. 🧾
2. Develop a communication strategy where I was not bugging her too much, but also knew she was ok and prepared to be successful in school and socially. 😁
3. Begin an intense cleaning in the home – focusing on her bedroom and bathroom. Box up childhood memorabilia (we talked about it and she was ok) and turn it into a big girl room finally.🧹🧽
4. Fumigation of upstairs carpet or maybe even changing it since she had a few mishaps with nail polish and other unidentified stains. And recently I let Ella and Laura (the pugs) upstairs for about 10 minute which was not a wise decision that forever has wrecked my carpet.💩☠️
5. Purge all high school knick-knacks that I was unsure were important or not – such as notebooks, bent poster board invites to a junior dance, decorations for St. Patrick’s Day, key chains, folders etc.👀
6. Rejoice in only having to run the dishwasher once a night and cleaning the kitchen less than 5 times a day. Not being surprised and angered with sticky finger residue left on cabinet handles and the refrigerator. Significant reduction in the purchase of Windex to help with monthly expenses and the environment.🖐🏻🖐🏻🖐🏻
7. No more picking up empty water bottles and discarded towels left on the floor that were used for an intense workout – even after constantly pleading with her to stop doing that. 🍼
8. Date and be a total slut – bringing home strange men every night without judgement (well maybe from the pugs). Ha – just joking – wanted to see if you were really reading this or not – let me know. Well maybe just kidding a little – I mean Covid has been a long isolation.👠

I have cherished my time with Isabelle as I have written previously but there is a process where your teens are ready to leave and they just do not make you feel great about yourself anymore.😕 It starts with the eye rolls and then the flinching when you try to touch them. 🙄😬 No longer are the days where you can snuggle and play with their hair without receiving an utterly repulsed reaction from them.🤮It is a sad state when I find myself hugging a kissing my elephant stuffed animal for my bed. 🐘To be honest, the pugs do not like the kissing and hugging too much either. 🐶🐶Ok back to Isabelle and teenagers, they start talking back and not respecting you anymore and quite honestly it is bad for our self-esteem. 👅Isabelle tells me to stop being so needy of reinforcement of my parenting skills. The other day she said that she admires my career and work ethic. Initially, I thought that was nice then I was like… are you kidding me? I have been awesome at keeping the wheels on this bus. I have served as mother, father, confident, provider, emotional support, cancer survivor and most of all keeping faith and hope alive when we were kicked in the ass by life. 🦹🏻‍♀️ So, you know what… go fly my little bird 🦅…. it is time!!! AND YET IT IS NOT…

Ok… I was venting a little – sorry about that…. but us parents of seniors in 2020 have taken a beating too. 🤕 All in all, it is going to work out just fine. I mean on the bright side, I now can relive my freshman year at MSU with my new roomie – Isabelle Borr.👩‍👦We can hang out, study/work together, play Trivial Pursuit and get drunk on Bacardi listening to the Go-Go’s. 🥃🎧🥁 Those were the days – I wonder what they will be like reinvented in 2020. Yes, I am a 54-year-old freshman again and I will let you know how it goes.. Go State!!!💚🤍💚🤍