I have not been super motivated to write this blog however, I got inspiration today that I needed to put my message out there. You know why? … It is National Widows Day 🥳 Yippee… Who knew there was a holiday for this event – until now? 😮Actually, it is kind of sweet, this is a day to support one another widows/widowers and keep the memory of our deceased spouses alive. Unfortunately, National Widows Day is kind of a daily occurrence for most of us, but hey nice to acknowledge it. 👍🏻So, in the spirit of this event, Robin you are missed every day; I wish you were here to manage the lawn that looks so terrible; I could have used you taking out the garbage in the rain today and most of all … just miss YOU – RIP sweetheart.❤️
On another note, as the virus is hopefully becoming SO 2020 and people are starting to get out and about… I have really been thinking about exploring dating again.🧐 I am not excited about the process but hopeful that in the end of the day, I can meet someone who is really nice, funny, handy, and just enhances my life. 🙏🏻However, I am quickly realizing that dating is not like riding a bike, it is a new skill to be learned and it is extremely uncomfortable. My 1990’s tricks do not work today. But now that I think about it, not sure my bag of tools from the past actually served me well back then either. Oh boy! 🥺🥺
Since Robin’s death, I have learned more about myself and really have become clear who I am and who I am not. 🥰 This is great from a self-actualization stance but terrible from a dating standpoint.😵Gone are those times that I would do anything when I was young to look super cool for a guy. I remember flying with someone who had not quite received their pilots license (yikes); going to events that I had no interest in; sailing and barfing over the side of a boat etc.… it goes on and on…🤮🤮🤮 Now at my age, that would never happen. I have realized that I may have developed some hard edges which are not that desirable to a potential suitor. Here are a few items that came to mind immediately… otherwise known as low hanging fruit:🍎🍍🍑🍌
- Widow – I have been on a few dates and I noticed when I admit I am a widow – I do not get the best response. It creates an awkward pause or me trying to make a badly timed joke about it. Nothing like a boner deflater than this admission. 🦴 I have tried to withhold the information or figure out how to deliver it in a different way … but it is just awkward no matter what I do.😬
- Sleeping Alone – At first it was very weird and now I love it. 🛌🧸Every night I slide into my bed and am met with my oversized body pillow and pink sherpa blanket. I roll around and straddle this pillow like my lover… I do not have to worry about waking anyone up and I can get up in the middle of the night and go potty a million times without being self-conscious. 🚽Although I have heard that 2 master bedroom homes are on trend so maybe I am on to something?
- Eating Habits – I am a vegetarian and the few men I have spoken or gone out on a date with seem to love to grill or make heavy meat masterpieces.🥩🥓🍗 In addition, I try to eat dinner before 5 p.m. to honor intermittent fasting and most importantly, to avoid weird repercussions at night. Let us just say fried or tomato-based food too close to bedtime equal the weirdest dreams ever. 👺☠️🤡👽😈🤠Having too much sugar (alcohol) will definitely induce the next day migraine. 🤕🤒 I have become so high maintenance – Oy!
- The Pugs – Although I love them as most people are into their pets, since Covid it has gotten weird. We have been joined at the hip with our daily walks, naps on the couch and now pug anxiety attacks when I leave the house. Ella whines during all my calls and let’s just say… I may have allowed things to get out of hand.🐶🐶
- Spirituality – This may be the one that really scares people off. I believe there is a connection between our human experience and the divine. I lean into my intuition and believe there is a larger universe comprised of angels, deceased loved ones – etc. that guide us through this life. I actually feel very aligned with Robin and know he supports Isabelle and me on a daily basis. This is so comforting to me but so unsettling to most people. 😇
Ok, there it is. I have put some of my baggage out there that I will have to maneuver around. All and all, if you ignore the list above, I am a pretty great gal and can offer a lot to someone. I am fun, kind, supportive, humorous, smart and that is a good counterbalance to my less than desirable traits. Who knows where this will take me but here is to new adventures and at a minimum some funny stories to write about? ✏️📖 Let’s hope I can meet some interesting people and get back out there and see where life takes me. Happy Widows Day and hopefully I can put this in the past.🍸🍸🍸